A play party is a social event in which people gather to practice BDSM and socialize with like-minded people.[1][2][3] The organizers often provide some large pieces equipment to which people can be tied while the party goers usually bring their own whips, canes, restraints etc. .[2][3] Generally there is an area for drinking and socializing, an area for changing into more appropriate attire (such as fetishwear and an area for (sexual) play.[4] Here there are usually Dungeon Monitors who enforce party rules[5] such as SSC and RACK.[2]

It is not mandatory to play at a party,[1] instead an attendee can merely take the role of a voyeur.[4] It is not acceptable, however, to touch anyone or their toys without permission or to interrupt a scene in any way.[4]

A play party can be a place for safer first date scenes.[2] Often a Do Not Invite List is kept of persistent rule breakers so that participants can know they are in safe company.[5]

Some play parties have open invitations, others are restricted to members of a BDSM club or people known to the organizers. There may also be a dress code (such as no street clothes), or restrictions on admission such as couples only or no unattached males. Some charge an admission fee, while laws in some areas may not allow a fee, but may take donations, or payment in advance (by some prior date.)[citation needed]

It is not mandatory to play at a party;[1] some people prefer not to play in public, and only attend to socialize and watch. People may play only with the people they came with, or they may play with people they meet at the party. However, wankers are very widely frowned upon.[citation needed]

The amount and kind of sexual contact allowed varies from party to party and city to city, depending on local laws regarding sexual contact, "bawdy houses" and public nudity. At some parties, penetrative sex may be allowed, while at others full nudity may be banned. Parties have been invaded or harassed by police for alleged violations of these laws.[citation needed]


Template:Originalresearch Play parties generally have a list of activities that are prohibited. These rules may be enforced by dungeon monitors (DMs), who monitor the play and wear some kind of identifying item, like a red arm band. Often a play party will have a list of posted rules, some based on common etiquette, or local laws and regulations. These often include not interfering with ongoing scenes without invitation, not disrupting others, cleaning up equipment after use, safeword protocol, whether penetration (with consent) is allowed and what types of extreme play may be allowed or not allowed. (wax play, needle play, water sports, and the like). Some types of play may be restricted to certain areas; e.g. wax play can only be done in an area with a clean tarp.

See also Edit


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Brame G. (2001) Come Hither! A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, Fusion Press, London, page 63.
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 Moser C., Demystifying alternative sexual behaviors, in Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause, Volume 4, Issue 2 (October 2006). Retrieved on 2008-05-09.
  3. 3.0 3.1 Moser C., A Glossary of Terms Used by Sexual Minorities, reproduced from San Francisco Medicine, Volume 71, No. 10 (November/December 1998). Retrieved on 2008-05-09.
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 Newman F. (2004) The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide, Cleis Press, San Francisco, page 271-277.
  5. 5.0 5.1 Van de Mark B., Energy exchange, in The Gay & Lesbian Times (3 March 2005). Retrieved on 2008-05-09.

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