Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a person is kept in the plateau phase of the human sexual response cycle for an extended length of time without satisfying climax. This is sometimes practiced in association with BDSM, and can be thought of as a more extreme version of orgasm control, which ends in satisfying climax. The subject may either be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal), or denied one, in which case they will generally feel strong feelings of sexual frustration.

An alternative form of erotic denial is the total denial of all genital stimulation. To ensure a total denial of stimulation a couple may use a chastity belt or other device that physically prevents touch and/or (for males) full erection.

Short-term denial practicesEdit

Tease and denialEdit

Main article: Tease and denial

Tease and denial, also abbreviated as "T&D", describes when a person's genitals are stimulated until he/she is close to the point at which orgasm becomes inevitable, at which time, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or "edge" of orgasm - as with orgasm control, but without the promise of orgasm at the end. If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm," as opposed to being a "denied orgasm." Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.

If bondage is employed in a Tease and denial session, it is called a "tie and tease."

Tie and tease activitiesEdit

Main article: Tie and tease

A tie and tease can be thought of as an extended Tease and denial (see above) performed on a subject who is restrained. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

Non-orgasmic ejaculationEdit

As an alternative technique, it is said to be possible for a man to be trained to ejaculate, but to do so without achieving orgasm. This technique requires practice and discipline on the man's part. One key to the technique is to remove all stimulation of the penis at the exact moment when an orgasm would otherwise be achieved; the result is a full expulsion of semen but without the concomitant relief. According to websites on the subject, this technique enables a man to be kept in a state of denial indefinitely, yet maintains prostate health more thoroughly than the alternative technique of prostate milking[citation needed].

Total denialEdit

The practice of total denial is where the subject is not allowed any sexually gratifying touch to the genitals. The subject may or may not be brought to arousal through other means, depending on the situation.

Ruined orgasmEdit

Main article: Ruined orgasm

Ruined orgasm is a technique used to deny a person the physical pleasure of release, while still allowing climax. It is often performed by removing all stimulation of the genitals at the moment the subject crosses the brink of orgasm.

Long term denialEdit

Frequency of masturbation is determined by many factors, e.g., one's resistance to sexual tension, hormone levels influencing sexual arousal, sexual habits, peer influences, health and one's attitude to masturbation formed by culture.[1] Medical causes have also been associated with masturbation.[2] [3] [4]

Different studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans. Alfred Kinsey's studies have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan.[5] Similar results have been found in British national probability survey. It was found that 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives. 73% of men and 37% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before their interview, while 53% of men and 18% of women reported masturbating in previous seven days.[6]

It is widely believed that abstaining from orgasm via masturbation or sexual activities will induce a sleeping orgasm, however the frequency that one has nocturnal emissions has not been conclusively linked to one's frequency of masturbation. Widely-known sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found "There may be some correlation between the frequencies of masturbation and the frequencies of nocturnal dreams. In general the males who have the highest frequencies of nocturnal emissions may have somewhat lower rates of masturbation. Some of these males credit the frequent emissions to the fact that they do not masturbate; but it is just as likely that the reverse relationship is true, namely, that they do not masturbate because they have frequent emissions."[7] For women the correlation is also short of conclusive; "According to Kinsey's findings, women who suddenly lost the opportunity for several coital orgasms per week had only a few more orgasms in their sleep per year."[8]

Subjects can be kept in denial indefinitely (periods around 2 to 4 weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking). Many, however, suggest that this is very subjective, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as 3 days or a week between release instead — especially when starting.

Beyond that, the long term consequences for denial are unclear, although there are negative effects implied by a recent Australian study[9], which found that frequent masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer in men.

Most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as "prostatic milking") to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, muscular atrophy, (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.

Normally, during sexual arousal, ejaculatory fluid accumulates in the male accessory sex glands - the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands (or Cowper's gland) - backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.

Without orgasm, prostate milking may be used to help to flush out the build up of toxins which accumulate within the prostate gland. This can be done by allowing ejaculation without orgasm. As most men need penile stimulation to reach the latter, this milking can be done without risk of orgasm.

Milking involves massage of the prostate, during which fluid will be secreted with a pleasurable sensation somewhat like slow urination. After continued massage, the fluid will flow out freely. Once a sufficient amount of ejaculatory fluid has drained, insufficient fluid pressure to trigger the ejaculatory reflex will remain, and no amount of penile stimulation will result in orgasm until the fluid glands are recharged. This may take several hours to several days. Milking can thus be used to prevent orgasm and nocturnal emissions if applied at appropriately timed intervals.

Erotic denial as a form of controlEdit

Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.

Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant males and females to exercise control and training over a highly intimate and psychologically significant part of their partners' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation, and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. This technique gives the dominant partner enjoyable feelings of control and power.

See alsoEdit


  1. E. Heiby and J. Becker examined the latter. [1]
  2. "Bladder calculus presenting as excessive masturbation." Ceylon Med. J. 2006 Sept., 51(3):121-2.
  3. "Excessive masturbation after epilepsy surgery." Epilepsy Behav. 2004 Feb., 5(1):133-6.
  4. "Severe impulsiveness as the primary manifestation of multiple sclerosis in a young female." Psychiatry Clin. Neurosci. 2005 Dec., 59(6):739-42.
  5. Kinsey,A.
  6. Gerressu, M., Mercer, C.H., Graham, C.A., Wellings, K. and Johnson, A.M. (2007). Prevalence of Masturbation and Associated Factors in a British National Probability Survey. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Published online.
  7. Kinsey, Alfred; p. 511.
  8. Orgasm During Sleep
  9. Blackwell Synergy - BJU Int, Volume 92 Issue 3 Page 211-216, August 2003 (Article Abstract)
  • Addison, K. (2004). Around Her Finger.


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